Sometimes you can be heart-based in your interactions and let’s face it, not everyone is here to agree with you. Sometimes you cannot agree to terms that make the doing tractable for the other party.
People go their own ways and that’s okay.
Emotionally it hurts if we wanted to have the agreement, and we cannot let go of their choice or our choice to walk away,
- because we miss their presence,
- because we wish for the movie version of our life with them,
- because we keep wishing it were different,
- because we remember our enjoyment of their presence and
- because we loved our doing together.
Maybe this is a project that is our dream, that we need to close to get that payday, that darn*it I’ve worked so hard on, and I’m going to push the mountain, let’s get this done. Maybe this is a person we loved, our best co-worker, our funnest friend, our most effective team member.
And… sometimes you can be heart-based in your interactions and, let’s face it, other people don’t care and are in it for EGO for whatever reason.
NOT FEELING IN THE HEART
Here’s something that we need to acknowledge:
MANY PEOPLE CANNOT FEEL EMOTION IN THEIR HEARTS
They literally cannot feel love, they cannot feel joy, they cannot FEEL a positive emotion at all.
Can they feel Anger? – Yes; Fear? – Yes.
Then, often, Anger and Fear rule the day. Oops, I meant the EGO.
Anger and fear ARE RESPONSES TO SITUATIONS, INTRACTABLE SITUATIONS.
They can so powerfully influence and drive our behavior.
How I got to be able to feel LOVE in my heart is a whole ‘nother story.
Suffice it to say, how you can go from not feeling to feeling IS POSSIBLE.
If you practice the steps above, that will get you started.
AND YOU WILL GAIN TRACTABILITY IN YOUR SOCIAL AND BUSINESS CONTRACTS.
To gain or regain tractability, when you appear to have the same goals and it’s not working, look at the root aspects of tractability:
- Do we agree on the actions we are doing?
- Do we agree on the place that we are doing these actions?
- Do we agree on the expanse required to complete these actions (the amount of physical space required) and do we have or have access to the required expanse?
- Do we agree on the broader requirements of what we are doing?
- Are we accomplishing the broader requirements to the same extent?
- Do we agree to the terms around the actions we are doing?
- Do we agree on the time required to the actions we are doing?
- Do we agree on the way that we are doing the actions to accomplish the goal?
One or more of these questions will revert intractable situations into tractability.
A SPIRITUAL WAY to do a SOCIAL CONTRACT or BUSINESS CONTRACT
Could you say that this is a spiritual way to be in a SOCIAL CONTRACT or to do a BUSINESS CONTRACT?
Yes, you could.
Here’s my spiritual take on it;
I believe that when we come together, in relationship, in groups, that our souls have agreed for us to be here, together, and that we all can learn or benefit from our interaction, together.
We can benefit and enhance ourselves and our world with our project, but we can also benefit from intractable situations.
Because we can enjoy and learn from the “good” outcome and we can learn from what we think is a “bad” outcome, but this intractable event, person or people could actually be the very thing that is the best for us, now. Our GREATEST TEACHER.
The choice of how to FEEL and how to BE is ours.
Because we can choose how to perceive the outcome.
And we can REMEMBER our personal strength, our personal POWER, in the DOING.
AND, THEN, WE CAN CHANGE OUR WORLD.
© 2015 Susan V. Lacerra, Inspired Strategies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.